Sunday, November 28, 2010

Let not your heart be troubled...

I love these boys (now men!)
I'm feeling troubled about many things tonight... my current health and upcoming surgeries, my hope in a bright economic future, my confidence in parenting and lack of "gentleness" (using 400 pound words to express 5 pound thots)... sometimes I just feel like the clear world I used to see has become blurry... and, in the fuzzyiness I can feel distant from God.

Thankfully, others have walked these roads before me, and their words have given my path better light... one of these is a gal named Misty, author of the blog A JOYOUS LIFE...
"Trusting God can be hard and it is just a matter of walking it out in faith. The world comes and tries to take over. Our own minds wanting answers get caught up in it all and then we just put ourselves in a spiral.   Although I don't understand WHY today I am going to choose to trust Him. That He really does have good planned for my life and will walk me in all the paths I go down. Guiding me and helping me to go straight. I don't understand. My head knows that this happened for a reason and things continue to happen for a reason but my prayer today is that I can get it in my HEART to understand. I will never be able to fully understand God or His reasons but I can learn to understand that He loves me and has the best intentions for me in the pain of this world. I can learn to trust Him. He walks me down this path. It is bumpy and has smooth moments, tear filled moments and anger moments but He stops with me. He sits with me as I stomp my feet in frustration. As I bang my fists on the ground He doesn't stop me from the emotions but He sits with me patiently understanding as I go through them. As I allow myself to experience the emotions and be weak. He cries with me because I am sad. He hurts with me. I will understand that. In all my weakness my Daddy is holding me and I trust that."

So, do I realize that the all powerful, totally in control, Master of the universe is telling me to shut my eyes and fall back into His arms of provision for me? In my head, yes... but sadly, not completely in my heart... So, like a kid, I peak (just to make sure, right?)
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come [back] again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also... All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."   (from John 14)
It's going to be OK, Merv... eventually... even if it's confusing or hard to see all the reasons or answers right now...
"Lord Jesus, I choose to believe... help me in my unbelief..."

Merv (
your adopted son)

PS Thank you for your continued prayers... yes, GOD is Enough!
PPS  I encourage you to visit Misty's public blog A JOYOUS LIFE. She has a real gift to communicate and express the deep work God has done and is doing in her walk of faith.


  1. Merv...I am writing through tears...for you and for myself. Misty's words hit me in a way I was not expecting and I am sitting here right now thinking how I have been resisting any emotion about all this "stuff" of life I am walking through, trying to just be tough...and reminded suddenly that it is truly OK to weep once in a while, to be weak, to rest, to trust...oh to trust. To sit on my the lap of my Heavenly Father as He holds me, comforts me...listening to my heart as I pour out to Him what I am experiencing and yes, how hard it is. I long to be free from pain, long to have renewed strength and do the little things of daily life I used to...I was reminded it is OK to miss those is morning a loss, if even temporary which I cannot know in this is still loss and loss is always painful. So thank you for sharing this post. If for no one else it was for me. I love you much my big brother.

  2. Thank you so much Merv for your kind words. Funny thing is I have stepped back a little and am stuck right now in struggling for that faith. As it gets tested I hold back the tears. Re-reading the words I wrote reminded me that I can cry. Now I have another blog idea. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I struggle a lot right this minute and I needed to hear those words again. Thank you and bless you

  3. Praying for all you fellow sufferers this morning!