Friday, August 27, 2010

Turning Grumbling into Groaning...

Yesterday, Dorrie and I went to our appointment with Dr. Newman to see if he could sort out my amino acid /meds to find a maintainable state. It is such a balancing act with no real "balance" ever reached. After an hour of discussion of blood tests and symptoms he adjusted things, added this and that, and of course, gave me the hefty bill for his time.  ;-)

Last night was the worst off period I've ever had...  It began at midnight, when "Parks" woke me up and demanded some medicine.  (I told him that I'd rather sleep, but I knew he'd continue to pester me until I listened.)  My entire body was numb, especially my arms and legs...  I concentrated all the brain power I had... just to move.  Very slowly (using my arms as feeble cranes) I dropped one leg at a time over the edge of the bed, and shuffled (as best I could) over to take my meds.  From there, it took me 20-30 minutes to get dressed...  stumbled downstairs, and exhausted, slumped into the embrace of my favorite chair.  

And there I sat... 

The worst time for me is when I start to dwell on how unproductive "Parks" makes me... but, I've discovered that the best way to beat that mind game is to pray for you!  By getting my mind off my life; by looking around and seeing the real-life struggles of others... well, I'm often move to tears and always compelled to pray (and every time by praying for you, I find the grace to trust God for my fears.)  

But last night's "off" was so "off", that all my mind could do was picture some of your faces... and then... groanI couldn't type... I couldn't talk or even think clearly...  but, I could bring up mental images of many of you and your various needs and... groan! Yet, I had a sense that prayer was still happening. This morning, I'm reminded of Romans 8:26, but now, with a deeper appreciation! 

... the Spirit intercedes for the saints
according to the will of God. (Rom 8:27)
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
(Romans 8:26-27 ESV)

"Our prayer must not be self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them." - John Calvin

"We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties." - Oswald Chambers

"The battle of prayer is against two things in the earthlies: wandering thoughts, and lack of intimacy with God's character as revealed in His word. Neither can be cured at once, but they can be cured by discipline." - Oswald Chambers

1 comment:

  1. Oh my Merv! You have hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head! Again. I am so convicted to my lack of discipline. I thank God for what you are learning and in so doing, teaching us with your insights. I must be cured!! With pure. godly discipline. Thank you, my dear friend.